Lately it has come to our attention that many of you are in dire need of sissy training. Your sisification is something we take very seriously and have put careful thought and consideration into a few things to get you started. We've even put direct links to a few things to get you started.
First and foremost you need a pair of panties. Something that's light, sheer and unlike anything a man would wear. Don't choose a "passable" pair; make a commitment to a very feminine pair!! The shopping experience in and of itself will be a treat for you. Go into one of the big lingerie stores and tell them that what you are looking for; if you are a brave little sissy slut, you can play the game where you don't confirm or deny who they are for, but don't lie either. This game will make your sissy heart thump in your chest! If you are a REALLY proud sissy, you'll tell them it's for you, but I don't think that most of you have the balls for that!
Most of you won't have the balls to shop in person, so I'm going to tell you where to buy online; these panties are queen sized, which is what you'll probably need to squeeze yourself into and tuck yourself properly. They aren't expensive and they are a good starter pair. Ready to take it a step further? Try this chemise set; panties are something you can learn to ignore, but there is no doubting you are a sissy when you are wearing a chemise! Stockings are the next step.
Some sissy's prefer the feel of pantyhose, which are readily available at most stores. Again, you probably don't have the poker face to buy them in person, so here's a link to some pretty fishnet pantyhose. Personally I feel that sissy's look their best in stockings, like these thigh highs with bows or these sexy cuban heeled ones.
These are the very basic things that you need in order to begin your sissification training. We'll be updating this guide with more advanced steps including chastity and gender-bending recommendations. We'll be scouring the internet for more good places to find sissification tools to keep your training moving forward.
June 27 |4:30 pm
As some of you may be aware, I've been named the new director for kink, revamping MeninPain into Divine Bitches. That doesn't mean that my site is going away; I have plenty of material to keep updating the site with, so don't get your little pink panties in a bunch slave boys; this site is still being updated.
I haven't been blogging here as I usher in a new wave of the Divine there, but you can follow me on twitter, which I've been using as a centralized way of keeping in touch (I can post whatever deviant thought crosses my mind from my phone, sign up and follow along slave boys!
This week I've been taking a rigging workshop. It's always interesting to be taking a class on new techniques for rope work and tying, particularly in the course of duty. You have to love a life where something like learning how to restrain someone is considered on the job training. Some people learn how to operate heavy machinery; I practice using it on slaves.
I'm back on the west coast, having left the desert behind for good. My time there is definitely over and done with and felt that way. I enjoyed living there for a little while but finding the girls that I needed to in order to continue developing my own projects proved difficult there (with a few outstanding exceptions).
I also found that there are more chances to develop new relationships with slaves here, because there are more permanent residents, less transient people. I don't like the fly by night sort that want to meet while they are ont heir vacation. I want a slave that will sweat, wondering if I'll call in the middle of the night to make them serve me...
Last night I went to my storage unit and pulled out a few toys to play with. I've got a new slave coming over to play with me soon (for my personal enjoyment, not for film....just yet). I grabbed a flogger, restraints, a gag and lots of rope. Last night as I lay in bed, I was imagining the sorts of things that I might do to him when he arrives, each of them more devious than the next.
I have a medical fetish. I enjoy the use of medical tools, supplies equipment etc in the context of DS. I was thinking to myself how I'd place gauze pads over his eye's, secure them in place with medical tape and use a dental gag in his mouth. I'll call after him and make him find me, completely disoriented and with panic setting in as he tries to make his way to me blindly. When I tell him to kneel, the sudden shift in movement will make him dizzy and when I put one stockinged foot on him, he'll breathe heavily...
June 24 |7:30 pm
I have one of those miniature paddles that is small enough to carry in my purse but still big enough to sting. I keep it there just in case I run into a situation where I get the opportunity to bend some sad loser over my knee and give him the over the knee paddling he needs.
I'm an observer. I enjoy sitting back and sipping my tea and watching the world go by but genuinely take interest in people watching. I know most of them couldn't ever imagine the unique world I live in. I wouldn't expect that and I like the fact that I know most are to scared to live the sort of lifestyle that is so normal to me.
While observing I often see people that I think would benefit from a good paddling, caning, flogging, boot worship, maybe even a good plugging in the ass. I see their mannerisms and listen to the way they speak. So much of it is just worthless jabbering. If I had them bent over my knee and really broke them their life would change. I'm still a woman of consent, so that is the tricky part but I still carry my small paddle in my purse from time to time. You never know, one day that person that really needs an over the knee spanking will suddenly fall into my lap and his ass will be red for a week!
June 17 |11:53 am
"Face down on the floor", I told him and he did so without hesitating. I dragged the pointy heel on one of my shoes down the inside of his thigh, past his cock and then back up and around until i'd gotten my footing on his ass. I stepped down, putting my weight into his flesh and heard the breath catch in his throat as he adjusted to the feeling of my weight resting on him. With one foot still planted on the ground, I shifted my weight back and forth, giving him more and more of it on his ass and on his back. Each time my heel came down in a new spot he winced a little, but less than he had the last time, and then I saw that his cock was getting hard from it all. I stepped on his cock and he shuddered and I told him if he came on my shoe I'd use his filth as lube to stick it in his ass. He came anyway, and I did.
June 5 |03:28 pm
I've kept myself busy lately, with the many things that I juggle. I've meet more devastating women that will be added to the Wicked hearts Boutique, have gotten new perspective on some bdsm relationships because of them. I enjoy seeing the way that different people approach dominance and submission, and am a firm believer that any relationship is what you make of it. I like seeing how some people can use the little things to exercise control over a slave (such as being made to ask permission to do something as trivial as have a glass of water) while allowing them to have freedom in other regards. It reminds me that the only rules there are for things are the ones that you impose yourself.
May 21 |01:28 pm
Sometimes it amazes me, how new adventures seem to keep coming my way. Every where I turn, there is something new to do, someone new to play with, so I never get bored or lose interest. Even answering the same ridiculous questions from people over and over has it's appeal, because it's confirmation that I live anything but an ordinary life.
May 14 |04:31 pm
One of my favorite things to do is peruse new toys, and in doing sot he other day, I heard a couple discussing "fetish gear'. It was cute, the way they tried to figure out which of them was going to be the dominant, and appealing to see her take the whip right from his hand and make the decision for both of them.
May, 9 |03:28 pm
I've realized that I view the world as a kinky place, maybe more so than it is. Perhaps it's because I can effect kink in a lot of people that wouldn't identify themselves as kinky. I always love the moment of a conversation when I realize that someone has no idea what they are missing out on. It's the moment that I'm consumed with an almost ravenous desire to show them.
May 3 |11:20 am
New slave relationships have started to present them selves to me, and I'm reevaluating my ideals about how thin I spread my attention. I've always held fast to the belief that having less slaves that you spend more time with is better than having multiples that you may never really have the chance to get tot he core of. However, it's also dawning on me that I could be missing out on experiences. The people that I meet (both those who do and don't know what I do) that present to me that glimmer of knowing, of wanting me to take control of their lives; in the past, that wouldn't have been enough. I wanted them to commit to me before I'd even touch them to scratch them. However, I'm further along in my own personal evolution now, and i'm taking a more "mentor" approach to things. Why shouldn't it be me that initiates someone into bdsm (I've enjoyed doing so in the past, but only with a firm commitment that it wouldn't be a "scene" or "session", but a relationship)? Why shouldn't I enjoy the spoils of deflowering someone in the art of dominance and submission?
I think that there has to be a happy medium; a way for me to feel that my training a slave for personal game won't be a waste of my time without the commitment (it takes a LONG time to train a slave to behave and act in a manner befitting my domination over them), while still enjoying the spoils of fresh flesh, new fears and the sweet taste of a slaves first real tears.
April 13 |4:38 pm
I'm finally un digging myself from boxes, making progress in the unpacking process. Just like packing, you come across things that you've forgotten that you owned. You become reinspired to use them again, and imagine new ways to do so. The feather with the firm handle attached can be used to arouse a slave, or it can be turned around, and the hard handle can be used to poke, prod, spank or even be inserted. The pair of worn panties can be used to humiliate or can be stuffed into a few choice places. The stockings with a run in them can be used to blindfold or gag. The metal hairbrush can be used for pain, or for privilege.
Members get access to the full unedited posts
April 6 |7:38 pm
On a recent flight, my slave kept getting looks from the flight crew. He closed his eyes during takeoff, and when he opened them, a male flight attendant and a female flight attendant were staring at him and whispering to one another. On the way back from the restroom, the male flight attendant stopped him and asked where he might recognize him from. My slave, reluctant to give the full story, skated the issue, and eventually told him he worked in fetish photography. On the return flight, my slave was flying standby and ended up with the same flight crew. The male flight attendant smiled at him and said "I know where I've seen you from now, and my wife knows who you are too". He was given first class service in the main cabin, which is the second best thing he's ever gotten out of serving me...
April 3 |2:38 pm
My slave has the first glimmer of hope of release from chastity. that is, if he's sent me the video blog (and it's amusing enough to share on the site). He said that he emailed the video to me today, so we'll see....
March 29, 2009 |1:39 pm
I've been thoroughly enjoying meeting new people and becoming more familiar with the acquaintances I already had here. The other evening I went out with a few new friends for a drink, and Princess Donna as well. It's been great talking with Donna about the lifestyle. She has recently accepted a new 24/7 slave girl and I enjoy hearing about her trials and tribulations with this new pet....
Members get access to the full unedited posts
March 12 |3:25 pm
Margot and I had a bet, to see which of us could get a slave boy to get a piercing first. I first mentioned it to 24601 (who I met through the alt.com Male Humiliation chat), in that Margot's guy said that he would get his cock pierced if she wanted him to (and came with him). I told 24601 that I'd better not loose on his account, making him the subject of the bet without asking any more. He'd told me initially that he'd have to travel 100 miles to get it done, so I told him to plan the trip.
Members get access to the full unedited posts
March 8 |6:15 pm
The movers came and took everything away the other day. I'm spending the last few nights in my nearly empty quarters, finishing up the last little things before I'm on to my next adventure. When the movers were taking things away, I kept coming across things that had rolled under furniture, or fallen in spaces between the wall. I had a few items that were not to be mistaken for anything other than deviant use, that I'm certain they saw. One of the movers took a load into the hallway, and I heard him say "Thank you sir, may I have another", to one of the other men, and it made me laugh. I'm not certain that he really even understood the scope of things, but I am sure that they had ideas...
Members get access to the full unedited posts
March 6 |2:20 pm
I had a question come up today from a fan that reads my blog about if I was going to continue my site when I moved, so I wanted to take a moment to say that yes; nothing will change with my site. I have over a years worth of new footage shot in advance, and I'll be seeing my slave monthly to continue new footage, as well as looking for a new slave in my new city. No matter who else I've worked for, nothing comes close to having the independence of having my own site to express myself and my view on the world of dominance and submission. If I thought that any of the other projects that I participate in would hinder that in any way, I'd drop them in an instant. I get to have fun on other sites, playing with new people, but it's entertainment for me, and not my life.
March 3 |8:20 pm
I'm trying to decide if I should let my slave suffer when I move away, or if I should pass him on to another domme to continue his training while I'm gone. Having moved around a bit, i've done both, and had different results at different times. This is the longest that I've ever continuously trained one slave, and it seems a shame to let me effort go to waste...
Members get access to the full unedited posts
March 1 |6:17 pm
Last night I went out with a few friends, as a sort of going away. It made me realize that I'm going to miss this city well enough to keep coming back to visit it.
We went to the strip club, which i find interesting, as I can speak frankly about what I do with the dancers, and it intrigues them. I was getting a lap dance from a beautiful japanese girl with milky skin and blond hair, as she asked me questions. She seemed hard pressed to understand that I not only got to live my life as I wanted it, but I'm able to make a living at it as well. These are the sort of moments that reinforce my appreciation for my situation. I had a gorgeous girl in my lap, and she was envious of my life. How is that for perspective? She giggled coquettishly at my friends husband, obviously wondering if he was the one that I would punish in the films we spoke of.
Members get access to the full unedited posts
21 |3:43 pm
I'm moving soon, so I'm going through the inevitable purge. I always find that satisfying, as you revisit the past while saying goodbye to parts of it and moving forward. I've been going through my toys, and realized that my collection has grown so vast that there are many things I've collected that I've never even used. Some of them are well worn, and I see the teeth marks and lipstick on ball gags, or come across the chastity belt that I split while my slave was wearing it. I say goodbye to the flogger that's been stripped of it's color while adding it tot he behind of my slave. I put to rest the leather that's stretched from heavy use. I'm also purging clothing, like shoes that I've walked all over men in, or stockings that have been run from forcing a sissy into them. Lingerie that I've gotten good use out of ...
I say goodbye to these things with a smile, as it means that I'll get to collect new things. Things that will continue to inspire me as much as the toys from the past have. New instruments of pain and pleasure that will excite me to use, to try new things with, to continue on my path of constant evolution.
I let my fingers linger on the things I keep as I start to load them into the trunk that will be their resting place until they arrive at my new home. They'll sing to me to be put to good use, and I'll oblige them on flesh that is all too willing.
Today is Valentines Day, which means something different to
everyone. To some it's a day of spoiling your lover, or being spoiled yourself.
Today I'll allow my slave to serve me with a pass from the pain that usually
accompanies it. If he manages to stay quiet and do as I say, he'll be allowed
to draw a bath for me and bathe me. If i'm in a giving mood, I may even
let him do it without wearing a chastity belt.....
I've just returned form Los Angeles after a few days of seminars and events about my industry. I met some interesting new people and got reacquainted with some past faces. Stockroom took home honors at the awards show, as did my darling Trisha. I watched a porn star through a temper tantrum and leave when she was supposed to be presenting, and another one make as ass of herself while failing to lose graciously. I learned how frail the ego's of some are, and how often the stereotypical need for attention plays a part in the adult entertainment industry. I'd have to say that's why I love Penny Flame so much, because really she doesn't care about what anyone thinks of her; she's going to be herself whether you like it or not.
I also got the requisite indication of just how kinky some of these people are. It never ceases to amuse me how often I get offers to usher people into the dark side of life. It usually starts as joking, but all I have to do is withhold a response for a little while, I can can easily tell whether it's a matter of attention of a sincere desire to be bent over, tied up and spanked..
January 2 |7:21 pm
I've been spending the New year Holiday with Heidi, having fun as usual; painting this town red. We went out dancing to one of the new clubs in town, found out that celebrities can't count backwards toward the New Year, and made fun of douche bag guys right to their faces (just a little bit of insight guys; girls RARELY find being overly forward charming).
December 20 |9:13 pm
I received an email recently from a guy who asked if I've ever made a slave cry. Anyone can beat someone till they feel pain and bring tears to their eyes, but to break someone down to their very core and leave them exposed and raw with their feelings out for everyone to see is totally different. This sort of experience reminds me of why I love BDSM relationships so much.
I have one slave in particular who I've brought to tears on more than one occasion. It was very tough for him the first time. I had him tied up in a difficult position for quite some time and I was torturing and teasing his cock and nipples. I'm sure the physical torment had it's part, but it wasn't anything more than what he'd endured for me in the past. It was a few simple words that ultimately broke him. I saw his eyes start to well up, and once the dam broke, it was like Niagara Falls.
There are some people that are of the opinion that you have to use force to dominate, and I think those people are wrong. Beating someone doesn't require much ability, but dominating them does. Don't get me wrong, there is a place for pain in play, obviously, and for some, that's all they are looking for, but if you think swinging a paddle is all that it takes to make you a domme, then you probably think that having a dick is enough to make you a real man. It takes a lot more skill to make someone shiver and shake with simple words than it does with the threat of violence.
December 11 |10:30 pm
Today I had a bit of fun with my own slave with some electrical play. I found a small electrical pad that runs off batteries on stockroom, which did the trick nicely. I attached it to my slaves foot and watched it twitch. Next I attached it to his taint, and watched as it made his cock twitch. With a hard plug in his ass, it also managed to cause his prostate to twitch enough for a small amount of fluid to be forced out from it; i'm going to have to try a full fledged milking that way soon.
I've been shooting a lot for Wicked Hearts Boutique, and planning for the AVN show, which has ended up being something that I'd casually attend to something that I'm working due to my nomination. I'll be signing at least one of the days, and when i figure out which, I'll post more information.
November 28 |5:45 pm
I discovered the joy recently of electrical play, while shooting for WiredPussy. It was my first real experience, and I have to admit it, I find it very erotic and look forward to playing with electricity more both personally and professionally. The mixture of pain and pleasure, the thrill of anticipation; it's all sorts of fun..
I found out that one of my slave girls was in the hotel in Mumbai at one of the hotels that it was attacked. I'm pleased to hear that she's alright, and waiting at the embassy to come home, but it must have been quite and ordeal for her. She wrote me a brief note telling me not to worry about her, but of course I will. I think that I need to have her out for a little bit of "mind clearing" next month.
You may have noticed that I've been putting up a lot of new pictures this month. I had a friend come over and take photo's for new material for the site. I'm on the fence about whether photo's are even worth the time to post (because they aren't viewed nearly as often as the videos), but I did enjoy parading my slave in front of an audience. he gets anxious, which makes me happy of course...
I was nominated in the Best New Web Starlet category, as the ONLY fetish site!
November 4 |4:05 pm
I got home last night from a trip, that was (almost entirely) just for myself. I don't get to take those often, so I really enjoyed it. I met a beautiful new girl that I'm going to be brining onboard soon both in front of the camera and behind it. She and I sat in the bar and traded stories about the incredible legions of men waiting to kiss the ground that women walk on, and had a good laugh at their (your) expense.
I also took notice of how many women love to use Halloween to indulge in wearing shoes that they wouldn't normally. You can spot a foot fetishist easily on Halloween by how the are looking down at the high heeled feet of every sexy vampire or naughty devil. You can watch their eyes follow the seams of stockings up and down, and you KNOW exactly what they are thinking.
October 25 |7:05 pm
I've been working a lot lately, hardly taking the time for myself that I'm entitled to. I've been traveling a lot, and contributing to other projects while working on my own. It's my favorite time of year though, and I'm clearing my schedule for more time for myself.
I love the fall, and it's the only time that I miss being back east. I miss the turning of the leaves, I miss the cider mills. I miss seeing my breath on an autumn evening.
I love halloween. It's the one time of year that gives you the perfect excuse to dress up as something other than what you normally are. I always choose to be some demented or bloodied version of something, because I like an excuse to shed my normal polish and challenge people to find me appealing even through a half pound of disgusting stage makeup and fake blood ;) Last year I went as the decapitated (and surgically re-capitated) Marie Antionette, complete with safety pins holding my head on.
It got me thinking though (and inspired a clip), about you freaks out there, ands what you are for Halloween. Do you use it as an excuse to show your true colors, in the guise of humor? Do you dress up in leather, or better yet in drag, and call it the spirit of halloween, while enjoying the feeling of silky stockings and a sexy dress? If not, then how come?
I challenge all of you men to show your freak colors this year for Halloween, and send me the photo's. Don't worry, I won't share them. This is one of the few times you'll ever see me actually request photo's (I wake up to enough dicks IN my inbox already).
One of the freaks I correspond with most often (yes I'm talking about you 24601), was saying he'd have to move to another island if he dressed that way. I think that there HAS to be something humiliating for you, and amusing for me, that all of you freaks can do to amuse me. Think of this as my little gift to you; inspiration to liberate yourself, even if it is just for halloween.....
October 21 |7:28 pm
I was surfing the web recently, and I came across a clever collection of femdom art in mainstream media. Click here to see it
October 19 |11:43 am
I had a photographer friend take some black and white photo's of a foot worship session, and this is one of my favorites:
October 12 |4:33 pm
It's cooling down here, finally. I've been able to enjoy some more temperate weather, instead of the scorching hot desert. I'm always amazed when it cools down again here, because the intense summer heat is enough to make me forget there is a reprieve, if even only for a few short months.
I've been coordinating a shoot with Trisha Uptown for the coming week, and I've been working with Selena on a bit more of the WickedHeartsBoutique. I'm thinking she'll be crossing over and sitting in on sessions with my slave soon.
It amuses me how I get a sudden flux of chastity slaves asking me to become their keyholder every time I make mention of it here in my blog. More often than not, they never follow through, but at the mere mention of my locking a cock away, has new crop of hopefuls show their faces.
October 6 |4:08 pm
Fall is a busy season for me, and I've got travel in store nearly every other week. Some of it is for business, some for pleasure, and some for both. I've gotten back into the habit of locking my slave in chastity while I'm going, and with so many frequent short trips, it leaves him in he dark about when he'll be let out again. The fun of it is in brining him over, and then sending him away without letting him out. The dashing of hope makes for an obedient slave, if and when they are let out...
September 17 |8:31 pm
The shoot with Kink went well, and I'll be back for Whipped Ass again soon (more details inside). I'm also going to be doing a scene for Wasteland with Trisha Uptown, which should be fun as well.
I've been giving a lot of thought lately about how I want to proceed with my slave and his training. It's always my goal to make sure that it doesn't become stagnant, so it's a welcome challenge to my creativity to try and imagine new ways to torment him. The physical ways are always the easiest to imagine, but domination for me has never been about how hard you can hit someone, or how loud you can yell at them. It's about how far inside their head you can get, and what you can do to them while you are in there. It's about letting them get used to one thing, and then changing it up so they don't ever get too comfortable.
Tease and denial appeals to me for those reasons. It's because when you take a person to the edge, and change pace, or the stimulus or even inflict pain in it's place, it's to keep them in the moment, and not inside their own head. You hear people talk about being in "sub space" from time to time, and that's what I always look to prevent in my own submissive's. I don't want them to slip into a trance like state, because detachment, for me, is the opposite of submission.
September 7 |3:31 pm
I'm packing up at the moment, because tomorrow I'm going to be heading to the Kink armory to shoot for their Whipped Ass site. I get to have my way with Vendetta, and you'll be able to check back to the link page to see when it goes up. I'm excited to work with them, because it's very different from what I do. Everything I do is in my own, natural environment, shot my own way. This'll be in a HUGE building, with a full crew and all sorts of fun things at my disposal! It'll be different, but I'm really looking forward to it...
WickedHeartsBoutique went into it's beta launch a few weeks ago and has been enjoying a bit of success. I'll actually start advertising it in the next week or so, and I think that it'll be a good crossover for people on the fringe of the lifestyle. I really have been enjoying having a good excuse to work with some lovely creatures a little more often as well, so having the site as an excuse to bring Trisha out, or spend the day with Selena, then I'll take it!
28 |5:31 pm
This week was a very busy one, as I had Trisha Uptown in town, shooting for a few projects (including Wicked Hearts Boutique), and we went out together and painted the town red. We had sooo much fun that we are trying to book projects together in the future to spend more time together.
My slaves birthday was this week, so I brought him over for a little fun. I've not had much time for him lately, because of everything that's been going on. He was desperate to see me, particularly since he found out I'd be out of town this weekend, and knew that he'd not get to worship me for another week. I thought of a fun little game to play with him, in celebration of his birthday, so I made him bend over in a particularly trying position, and I spanked him, while teasing his cock, telling him if he didn't cum before I got to the age in spankings, he wouldn't be allowed to. However, keeping himself upright and taking the spankings made it hard for him to concentrate. In the end, end though, he pulled it together, but of course, the spankings continued until he'd gotten hem all, I made him eat his cum, and gave him a pinch, as is the tradition...
11 |9:40 pm
I've been having a lot of fun with the girls from The Wicked Hearts
Boutique. They are all amazing in their own way, and it's been nice to not only
see them gain more confidence in front of the camera, but to see different approaches
to female domination. Every one of them has a different style, and they bring
something different to the table. They all have one thing in common though, and
it's certainly in grinding men beneath their heels. I'm taking them all out very
soon very soon, and I feel sorry for the men in this city when that happens...almost.
23 |6:20 pm
I've started putting together a new site that will have just POV
videos on them, because I know how many pathetic men are too intimidated to look
at another mans cock on screen, even if it is just another slave. The WickedHeartsBoutique
will feature every POV video I've done, as well as some remakes and new material
from myself, Selena, Michelle, Athena and the other Wicked Hearted girls. It's
given me a chance to work with other girls, see other styles of domination and
imagine new ways to torment men....
14 |8:50 pm
This past week was a very busy one for me, but it was productive.
I hosted an adult industry event, and took place in a pageant.
I took second place, which isn't bad given that my competition was comprised of
all porn stars (the winner was a vivid girl).
For my talent, I brought a slave girl out on stage and flogged
her. The crowd flinched, but there was lots of perking when I offered free spankings
to the judges for the year, heheh.
I also got the lovely Penny Flame to make fun of one of my slaves
when i caught him snapping pictures of the two of us from a distance.
I got to meet some of the girls that I've appreciated from a distance,
such as Aria Giovanni and Ashley
Fires who I'm hoping to get come torment the boys with me soon!
I met a lot of new girls that are very keen on working on my Wicked
Hearts Boutique project, so that should have it's own (long beautiful) legs soon
My VOD theater (Madeline
is Wicked Vod), featuring segments of streaming sessions, is finally
up and running. I've never been interested in doing DVD, but this sort of allows
me the ability to do a longer format than what would be possible on the web, so
I'm very happy about it. I typically cut up a session into a few clips, but now
I'll be able to have them unabridged! Of course I still have individual clips available ala cart on my clips4sale store as well, and this site has the best of both.
*pictures of the event are available to members only
5 |4:02 pm
A slaves conundrum:
I get a lot of people that I've befriended via this site,
or other forums, and so I'm privilege to a lot of more personal correspondence
than I might otherwise. Recently I had someone vent and ask for some advice about
pro domme's, as he felt as though the role had deteriorated beyond being about
dominance and submission, and to him financially supporting a number of pro domme's
that weren't capable of being able to do so themselves.
I took a couple of days to answer him, because I wanted to give
him an answer that was meaningful, and at the same time properly covered some
subjects that are delicate. This was my reply:
I tread lightly with the subject of "pro dommes".
I'm an advocate for sex workers right, and a firm believe that anything you are
allowed to do legally, you should be able to profit from (I'm also a huge believer/supporter
in first amendment rights, btw).
The problem that I find commonly, is that people are often
attracted to things by the money they'll make for them, and less from the love
of them. There is a substantial difference between a woman who loves to dominate
and has learned to make a living at it, and a woman who's realized that she can
make a living at it, and come to enjoy it.
I don't want you to think that I'm bashing pro domme's because
I'd never do that. I'm just saying, that for me personally, I think that involving
money is a distraction on what's going on.
I have a love for dominance and submission, that I've figured
out how to capitalize on, without finances ever being a matter between my slave
and I, and that's how I prefer it. I would NEVER put myself in a position where
I have to ask a submissive for money, either for the amount of time I've given
them, or for a service rendered, or just as a favor.
This is why I keep my day job as well, which some people might
see as a conflict of interest my working in adult entertainment. Some "purists"
would consider what I do beneath a dominant woman, but the fact is, I enjoy what
I do, I make a very healthy living between both endeavors, and I can continue
my role as a dominant woman without it ever being compromised by the matter of
I was actually just considering this recently, because I'm
redesigning my site, and I think that I'm going to take the keyholder section
down. I really loved the idea of doing this, but i'm so tired of people trying
to negotiate a tribute with me, that's it's detracted from the original goal and
made it feel cheapened. Being pampered by someone that appreciates you is one
thing, but saying "you have to buy me these shoes so I'll hold your keys"
is another matter. it takes the fun out of it for me, and makes it a job instead
of a hobby, is that makes any sense.
Choosing a domme is a serious matter, that shouldn't be taken
lightly (as is choosing a slave). You have to approach it like a real relationship,
if you want it to be real. Find out what the person wants out of it for themselves.
Find out if their goals are long term or short, and if they match your own. Sometimes
you'll make a compromise, but it might be better to abstain than involve yourself
in a doomed relationship. You might not get a partner that has the endowments
you most desire, but you will find that choosing one that matches your level of
commitment will be much more fulfilling than choosing one that's got perfect tits
or the largest cock.
I think you already know the answer to your own question;
if you can't pay your own rent, you don't have enough control over your own life
to guide anyone else's.
14 |6:56 pm
This week I was away on yet another trip. I feel like I'm gone
more than I'm home these days, but this one included a bit of fun. I was able
to attend a fetish party, and see the live filming of two different fetish videos
that happened while I was there. I don't attend fetish parties often, because
quite frankly, 95 % of the ones that I've attended in the past seemed more like
halloween, and less like people that knew anything about the bdsm lifestyle. This
party, however, was pretty amazing, and I'll have to say that it was worth all
I watched a domme tie up another woman, and be fucked in front
of a huge audience, by a number of different men, and with a strapon as well.
I'm not in the habit of showing penetration on film, but I can definitely understand
the appeal of it. They slave being penetrated was definitely into the exhibition
of it, and from her rope harness, she hung from the ceiling, looking into the
eyes of us watching, and you could see that she was enjoying the humiliation of
such an intimate thing in front of strangers. People talked, and cheered, and
snapped pictures, and I'll have to say, I would have enjoyed participating in
I'm still trying to make the web cam show work, but it seems that
I've hit another snag, and it might not be June 27th, as I originally hoped. I'll
keep you updated though.
24 |9:18 pm
I was shooting with Michelle today for the Wicked Hearts Boutique.We
were shooting a forced cross dressing POV, and got on the subject of how many hetero
men we've both come across who want to be made to wear womens panties, and who
quite often would like to be fucked in the ass with a strapon. The general public
would probably judge these men as gay, but that's not accurate. I think that typically
the presence of another member of the same sex would be neccessary for a man to
be even remotely gay. Michelle said "If all it took was an object inserted
in the ass to make a man gay, everyone that ever got a prostate exam would be
19 |2:39 pm
I have been throughly enjoying the company of the budding domme Selena. Her form of domination may be different from mine but is none the less wicked and cruel. I have had her over to observe and participate in some of my sessions lately. The look on my slaves face when she walked in recently during one of our sessions was priceless. I enjoyed watching her strut into the room commanding attention from him. His eyes did not know where to go or what to do. It was overload for him. She speaks in such a sweet but cruel voice and totally ignored him as if he was not even there. She proceeded to tell me about her day and we caught up on girl talk. She had been shopping all day and had the cutest pair of new heels on. Without batting an eye and still ignoring him she walked over to my slave (still talking to me and ignoring him) and just took off her shoe and stuffed it in his face. He about fell over and we both laughed hysterically. He is such a loser and a weak little fuck for women's feet. I made him continue to worship our feet while I humiliated him in front of her. I was very impressed with the way she handled him, she did not hesistate to join in on the humiliation. After a bottle of wine and a foot massage for us both she said the cutest thing. "These pathetic fucks should totally worship us for being so kind enough to indulge them in their sick fantasies" I definitely look forward to having her over during more sessions!
24 |6:35 pm
It's amusing to put a man who is out of line (in public) in his place in front of all of his friends and strangers. It gives me so much pleasure to hit them right between the eyes; embarrassing them to the point where they would never think of stepping out of line like that in front of another women again. I am doing a public service, I feel, with my form of training, and it's rather generous of me I believe.
I was out very late recently with two of my girlfriends. We stopped by a late night eatery after a night of drinking and dancing. All of us were dressed to the nines. I was in a vintage designer dress, dainty buttery stilettos and sexy seamed stockings. There was a group of obnoxious men in line in front of us and one of them had the audacity to call me "hey so and so". (insert the name of one annoying celebutant). He must of said something else after that but I was so fumed it was all foreign to me. He laughed and thought he was being "cute" for his friends being condescending to me. But, not one of them laughed after the cold, stern glare that was pointed at them. Even my girlfriends know when to not say anything but just stand behind me and smile.
I thought it only fair, given the way he'd publicly compared me to the first celebutant that passed through his drunken mind, that I'd address the situation in kind. I told him in front of all of his friends (and everyone else in the restaurant) what a weak, small minded and, I'm sure, small dicked little worm he was. I told him he was being a loser and that he would never have a prayer with a women like me, and that his childish behavior was probably evidence of all the rejection he'd received in the past. The fact that he called me a celebutant, just because I was wearing an expensive dress was also proof that he had absolutely no idea of how to approach a woman, and that keeping his mouth shut might at least help him avoid being told publicly what a twat he was.
He proceeded to turn red and stuttered trying to give some excuse for what he had said, but it was to late. There are no second chances for first impressions, particularly when they are blown so completely. His friends didn't laugh. They didn't do anything; they just stood there and stared. He must have felt like he had a spotlight on him. How embarrassing for him for to attempt to be clever, but succeeded only at making an ass of himself. I told him that he had no idea who I was, and that making an assumption about me had actually managed to give insight to everyone around him about what a shallow, useless, pathetic fuck that he actually was. I didn't feel the need to assure him that I was well out of his league, because I'm certain that no one around at that moment could have ever thought otherwise, or that he would ever stand a chance with any real woman.
His posture turned to mush and he sulked his way to his table. As he walked away an older women alone standing in line actually clapped out loud. My contribution to public service wasn't just in chastising him for his sake, but for the sake of all the men within earshot who; if they have any brains at all, will think twice before approaching any woman with anything other than respect.
23 |11:04 pm
No sooner than I got back from my trip with my slavegirl,
than I found out that my grandmother passed away, and so two days
after I got home, I was back on a plane headed to the place where
I grew up. I call it that (the place where I grew up), because calling
it home couldn't be further from he truth. Every trip back I'm reminded
that I've grown on, and grown up, and that I could never call it home
I know that words circulated about my lifestyle, and
about my site. I know that people that I went to high school with
have joined or bought my clips. I know friends that have commented
on specific scenes to other friends, in hopes of gaining confirmation
as to if it was me or not. The last time I was home, people were still
in the "finding out phase", so I was greeted with apprehension.
Now though, people have heard how well I'm doing for myself. They
see that I'm in a better position than I ever was there, and the apprehension
has turned to curiosity. I can see the questions on the tips of their
tongues, but if they want answers, they'll have to have the courage
to at least speak to me face to face as much as they've done behind
It also strikes me with each trip back about how little
progress people have made. I see where I grew up, and the entire place
is like going back to your kindergarten classroom. I pity them rewally,
that they'll never see the things I've seen, or do the things that
I do. I pity them that they all feel like their lives are out of their
More than pity though, I feel pride. I feel a sense
of accomplishment. I feel empowered by the knowledge that I was dealt
the same hand as most of them, and have managed to play it better
than they have. My beginnings were humble, my upbringing average,
but at the end of the day, I am where I am now, because of my own
efforts. I call it effort, but it hardly seems like even that. This
was the natural course of things, as far as I've always been concerned...
4 |3:57 pm
Through business dealing with my "day job",
I was able to acquire content from a site that I'd modeled for in
the past. It's all girl/girl bondage, and very different than what
I do here and now. i'd forgotten how striking some of it was (even
if slightly overproduced). It marks a different point in my life,
but every point in my life has lead me along the road to where I am
I know the arguments that some men ONLY like to see
girls dominate men, but the reality is; i'm dominate regardless of
gender. I love women for different reasons than men, and treat them
differently. I ultimate want slave girls that I can train to stand
over men, with whips in their hands, while I hold on the leashes around
their beautiful necks. A hierarchy of domination that puts men at
the bottom of the food chain, where they belong.
I see D/s in so many public situations. I do not know
if it is my devious mind at work or this is just the way life is.
I tend to think it is a little bit of both. Recently one of my girlfriends
and I went out to a laid back lounge to share a bottle of wine and
have girl talk. She is not a Domme per se nor is she submissive by
any stretch of the imagination. She is not in the BDSM lifestyle.
However, recently she has become very curious about my lifestyle and
EVERYTHING involved. She has questions about everything. She said
recently she had been fantasizing about what it would be like living
like mine. Her eyes light up at the thought of having the power over
men the way I so naturally do. While we were discussing this there
was a conversation going on across from us. It was quite obvious that
the "couple" was not really a "couple" at all.
However much the guy wished they were, this was an obvious "just
one of the girls"
situation. The girl went on and on about Derrek this and Derrek that.
He is so great, he is so gorgeous, he is so strong. Even when she
was talking to this meek guy sitting across from her about the things
wished Derrek would change she said it with total confidence that
Derrek was definitely the bigger and better man no doubt even though
she was totally ignoring the fact that the poor weak guy was gazing
her ready to wipe her ass, pay for her drink and anything else his
goddess wanted knowing full well he could never live up to the real
man that is Derrek. Maybe she knew it. Maybe this was her way to dig
him even deeper. In the end she went on and on about "awwwwwww
but you are great to I mean you are like seriously (and here is the
kicker) just one of my girls". Said so sweetly, it sends a razor
sharp knife through his heart as he proceeds to pay for all the drinks
smile, opening the door for her on the way out and I am sure dropping
her off at home where she can go a fuck a real man all night long
and he goes home dreaming about what it would be like to be just that.
Seeing this situation made me laugh and I bring this to the attention
of my girlfriend. She found it silly and started to think herself
about her everyday life and how she is very often in situations just
like this one and beyond. At her job, in her circle of friends almost
everywhere she goes she could pick out a situation where she realised........maybe
I do have a budding Domme in me just begging to come out. She was
very pleased with herself. It amused me, ALOT. It
got me thinking more about how I would love to train a women on film
to dominate men. I would take great pleasure in it...
4 |8:17 pm
The new slave girl came for her first visit this week. I didn't
play with her, as much as I interrogated her. I sent her home with
assignments, which are part of what ultimately whill help me make
My plan is to break her down, and then build her up again. I plan
on making her capable of dominating men, while still submitting to
me. I've had a few people ask how she will rank among my slaves, and
while she will come first and foremost, and be a more cherished pet
than any man can be, she absolutely must not realize that until after
she's been broken down. I'm a believe int he fact that you don't reach
the bottom unless you think there is no further to go, and as long
as you feel there is someone beneath you, you aren't there yet.
I've moved this past week, and after making my slave believe I was
leaving him behind for good, I allowed him to come back. I used him
to move my toys and things that I didn't trust to the movers (my undergarments
were all safely locked in trunks). The last time he came to my new
place, I filmed a few things with him, and made him believe that I
was leaving him behind. When he came back today to serve me, he was
in much better form; imagine that.
16 |12:06 am
I've been particularly wrapped up with my day job this month, and
you'll likely be seeing me on television. I was at the AVN show, conducting
interviews with celeb's in both the mainstream and adult entertainment
industry. I'll post some video here as soon as it's given to me (after
I received another order from stockroom, and I'm dying to try it
out. I got a fuck machine with a male adapter on it, so I can milk
my slaves without getting my hands dirty now! I'm excited about using
it, and even more excited about getting them broken in to use it the
other way! I also got a latex vacuum bed, and i locked a new slave
into it, but with the vacuum going (to make it airtight), it's too
loud, so I wasn't able to publish it. I'll be posting pictures though.
3 |10:59 pm
I had a slave girl stay with me over the New Year holiday, and I
just sent her home today. It's been nice having a woman around that
can serve me, but who also believes herself to be dominant to men.
We go out together, and enjoy tormenting men in clubs, and are fiercely
protective of one another while out together, but behind closed doors,
she loves to do as I please.
Next year for the new years holiday, I plan on serving sushi off
of her naked body to all of my guests. it'll be shocking for some,
but oh so much fun for me..
These entries are excerpts of my complete blog found in the members area